Friday, March 24, 2006

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens...

Want to know what you would look like as a South Park character?
http://spstudio.linda.hosting-friends.de/sp-studio.swf

Have the pleasure of laughing at scaring cats without the guilt of scaring them yourself?
http://www.scarethecat.com/

How about watch a video staring the pretty boy from The Killers? (and if you are me, watch it over and over and over again)
http://www.islandrecords.com/thekillers/

Laugh at messy copyediting (mine excluded, of course)?
http://www.regrettheerror.com/

See where everyone in the office is finding those hilarious photos of Britney Spears?
http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/

Know the celebrity inside scoop a month before it hits Extra?
http://www.socialitelife.com/

Catch up on missed episodes of your favorite TV shows (and make fun of the crappy writing/acting)?
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/

See photos of 50 animals in casts (the cat in the wheelchair is my favorite)
http://youcantmakeitup.blogspot.com/2006/02/50-animals-in-casts.html



There! That should kill a few hours of company time. You're welcome.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Wima Made Me a Lazy Housewife

Oh, look. It's karma, getting me back for saying I wanted a hurricane to hit us so the power would go out and I could have a day off. Actually, I got five days off with no electricity. Ha, ha on me.

The first half of Hurricane Wima was not bad -- just a lot of rain and the trees were waving back and forth. The second half however, was very scary. When the windows started shaking, I grabbed the cats and Chris and dragged everyone into the walk-in closet. Last year we spent a sweaty, sticky, hot night in the bathroom as Hurricane Jeanne took her dang time sloshing about Palm Beach. This time I was determined to be more comfortable. And we were more comfortable -- until the pressure difference became so great that the door to the crawl space in the closet flew open, I saw the sky -- and the storm -- and then tons of insulation rained down on us. The door fell back down, very Wizard of Oz-like and we jumped up, shook off as much insulation as possible and headed to -- you guessed it -- the bathroom.

So we were without power for five days but since there was a cool front, it was actually really nice.

Here are the Top Three Good Things About Being Without Power for Five Days Because the Florida State Government Won't Cough Up the Cash to Bury the Power Lines Even Though Florida Has Been Hit by Hurricanes Many Times Before and Certainly Will Be Hit Again and Again and Again in the Very Near Future:

1. No light polution
It was so dark, I could see the milky way and shooting stars. Chris set up the telescope and showed me the Ring Nebula, the Andromenda Galaxy and a planet -- but I can't remember which one.

2. No work
No power in the high-rise means no connection to the servers which means I get a vacation from the bee hive. I can't tell you how peaceful it was to wake up and not have to think about/dread office politics.

3. Got to spend quality, stress-free time with my honey
Here's how my day went: Wake up late. Eat breakfast (banana bread and cream cheese from the cooler and a piece of fruit) with my husband. Take the world's fastest shower. Read as much as I want. Go for a walk. Play board games with Chris. Eat lunch (turkey burgers or chicken salad sandwiches from the cooler). Read. Go for a walk. Knit. Work on puzzle with Chris. Play with cats. Drink wine with Chris while he bar-b-ques something on the grill. Eat dinner by candlelight on the patio. Drink more wine. Look at the stars. Go to bed when we feel like it.

I guess it was like being a stay-at-home wife -- but one who doesn’t pay the power bill.

Of course, there were bad things, like the aforementioned shower which was dealing-with-a-car-mechanic painful. Freezing, freezing.

Really though, as opposed to last year's Jeanne and Francis, Wilma was a vacation.

Of course, as you can see the power has been restored and I'm back in the hive. Sigh........

Friday, September 23, 2005

I am sad today

Nothing is guaranteed
Prayers and promises
Calendars and checkbooks
Nothing is ever really organized
Not beyond screwups and forgotten what-ifs
Nothing stays in place
Waiting
Rooms filled with a quite hum of family and football on TV
Empty in the hollow wake of
He's not coming home
Ever

I am sad today.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

From Radio Ink: Urgent Call to Action for Radio Regarding New Orleans

Urgent Call to Action for Radio Regarding New Orleans:
PLEASE READ THIS CRITICAL ACTION PLAN INVOLVING ALL RADIO STATIONS IN THE U.S. TO IMMEDIATELY HELP A DESPERATE SITUATION IN NEW ORLEANS.

Memo from Eric Rhoads, Publisher of Radio Ink Magazine

The situation in New Orleans is not only a disaster; thousands of lives are at risk if proper action is not taken immediately, TODAY. Radio broadcasters across America can have an immediate impact on saving these lives TODAY if you take action. Please read through my plan and forward it to every broadcaster, every radio owner, every group head, every television broadcaster, and every national and local talk host immediately.

Dear Fellow Radio Broadcasters:

Americans are dying today on the streets of New Orleans. This afternoon ago FEMA stopped rescue efforts because it is "too dangerous." WE CANNOT LET PEOPLE DIE IN THE STREETS, AND RADIO CAN DO SOMETHING NOW. The situation in New Orleans will result in thousands more deaths, which can be prevented. As I observe the news reports it is clear that the government is not taking enough action quickly enough and our fellow citizens are receiving a death sentence because of the lack of action.

Radio broadcasters will be able to take action and make a change. DO NOT ASSUME that you cannot make a difference just because you are not in New Orleans.
It is clear that the government cannot do enough fast enough. Radio must initiate a citizen-driven action to save lives and simultaneously create pressure to get more action from the government.

1) All radio stations in New Orleans need to be reached. If you hear from them, read this to them. Email them if you can; just try to get word to them. These radio stations must take matters into their own hands and go beyond the government (local, state and national) plans, which are failing and will result in thousands more dead.

2) All radio stations in the U.S. need to follow a plan, which I will discuss below.

NEW ORLEANS
The problems in New Orleans that RADIO can solve locally:

a) Communication: People are not being told what to do, where to go. Communication systems are down. RADIO is the ONLY communication available and some, perhaps MANY people there, have radios. It is critical that we get word to these people with radios and instruct them to get word to those who wandering the streets that there IS a plan in addition to government and city plans, which are not being communicated or implemented.

b) Lives Need to Be Saved:a. ROOFTOPS: Thousands of people are still stranded on rooftops. There is not enough time for the government plans to get people out of the rooftops. We need a citizen-driven collation, which is organized by local radio, to urge every citizen with a boat, a ladder, and a chain saw to patrol the streets looking for people in need of help. Everyone with even a rowboat needs to be out looking and saving people. The government plan is not working fast enough and these people will be dead if we do not get to them, get them food and water and protection from the heat.b. ATTICS: Thousands of undiscovered people are stranded in attics. There is no way to know if they are stranded in attics. They cannot get out of the attic because of water below them and they have nothing to cut their way out. The Citizen Collation needs to go house-to-house with ladders and chains saws to check for stranded attic survivors. Heat inside an attic is worse than being outside, and without food or water these people will die. If we do not do this thousands will be discovered dead in their attics. Radio stations can call for people to do neighborhood attic searches, gathering of chainsaws, etc.c. REFUGEES: This is not a third world country. These people are U.S. We are all Americans, and we need to rescue these people NOW. The current government plans to get people out of New Orleans will take 10 days, and there is a chance thousands will die before they are taken out. Local radio must coordinate bus caravans to other cities, and coordinate airlifts to other cities. Radio is the friend of the people and can get the word out; it can create pressure locally and nationally. These people cannot be stuck on the streets for 10 days or we will see illness, death, and rioting.d. LOOTING: Though there are criminal elements involved, much looting is from frightened people who are hungry and scared. The mayor has taken forces off of finding survivors and focused them to stop the looting. Though it disgusts me, I think local radio should apply pressure on to make the focus of police on saving lives. Looting is not as big a problem as life-saving. Radio should also appeal to audiences to stop the looting, though this will probably be a fruitless effort with some people. Most important is saving lives.

If action is not taken we will see total anarchy. Desperate, hungry people will start taking things into their own hands and we could see rioting, with citizens killing other citizens, the police, and the military. Local Radio is the only group of people who can make a difference.

We have tried unsuccessfully to reach New Orleans radio people; however, if you hear from friends, colleagues, people in your company you should take the responsibility to read to them. If at all possible all New Orleans radio managers must meet to coordinate this effort today. Try to get the word to them.

WHAT RADIO CAN DO NATIONALLY AND IN OTHER CITIES:

The obvious thing is to raise money, direct people to Red Cross and other organizations, but there is a much bigger mission we can take on.

Close to a million people or more from the region are going to be without homes, or at least delayed from reaching their homes for months or longer. Thousands have lost everything. The economy of New Orleans has come to a stop. There is not tourism, no port-hurricane activity. IF WE, RADIO, do not take this on as our responsibility, we will see a severe impact on the economy not just in New Orleans but nationwide. Look at gas prices today already. Businesses across America will be severely affected from the loss of the port, which means they won't have product to sell (or advertise). We cannot make this a government problem.

At present the governments wants to put OUR CITIZENS in refugee camps. This is unacceptable. These are Americans and they do not deserve this. Maybe a short stay is acceptable, but we need to understand that this could have been any of us and any of our communities.

Radio across America needs to mobilize with the following actions:

1. Assistance: All radio stations in each market should call a meeting of all radio managers locally. This is a time to put down promotional efforts and competitive issues and work together to save citizens. In the meeting a coordinated effort should be created to do the following.a) Call all civic groups together in a meeting. Get Kiwanis, Rotary, churches, and synagogues together and ask them to find housing. If families would be willing to invite one person, one family into their home ANYWHERE in the U.S., we will be able to get people to living conditions better than refugee camps. These groups can coordinate busses to refugee camps to gather people and bring them to your community.b) Help refugees get established. Radio stations should call on the community to create jobs. These people should be introduced into these jobs thru local businesses via the radio stations.c) Housing. Radio can coordinate the local groups to help these people find housing. FEMA will pay for apartments and living expenses for a year to get them re-established. The communities surrounding the Gulf cannot accommodate this many refugees and jobs but if we spread it across all cities in the US with a few thousand to each city, we can solve this problem.d) Send busses to get refugees. Radio has the clout to do this in local markets and ask for volunteers with busses, airplanes. e) Have groups coordinated to meet these refugees, be their local friend. Be there for them, help get them introduced to the community, housing, etc.2. Pressure: Radio needs to put pressure via their press activities for swifter action in the impacted communities. Put pressure thru your airwaves on local politicians, congress, etc. to get more action TODAY in New Orleans to find survivors in attics and to pick them up and get them out of New Orleans quickly. Put pressure on the President to get to New Orleans, get stronger swifter action taken. We cannot put these thousands of people thru this for even one more day.

Expose Fraud:Expose companies price gouging, and expose politicians who are posturing. This is not a time for political differences we must see full cooperation on both sides of the isle. This is not a time to have politicians making this about one party or another failing to respond, we just need to get everyone to respond. If they are posturing, make people aware you are on to them and that it is unacceptable behavior.

Apply Corporate Pressure: Every city has companies. This is the time for all of us, small and large businesses to step up. Creating one job or more will help. Also some corporations can make sacrifices on their balance sheets to offer help. Hotel chains, cruise ships, can house refugees, Food companies, Wal-Mart, Kmart, Target can send hundreds of trucks and donate food, water and other items. Put pressure on companies on the air. If you know CEOs, phone them. Your call could make them take action. I could not sleep last night because I felt even I could offer something. Realizing my company had contact with Radio and Radio could influence America and help locally, I felt the need to take this action to our readers.

Oil: We're in an oil crisis due to reduced refinery capacity. Encourage people to reduce oil use. Ask them to take it seriously.

In Summary:

This is a huge disaster and action is slower than it needs to be. FEMA just closed down all boat rescues because it is too dangerous. WE MUST USE RADIO TO PUT ACTION IN THE HANDS OF THE PEOPLE TO TAKE ACTION. WE CANNOT RELY ON OUR GOVERNMENT OR THEIR LACK OF SPEED ON THIS MATTER. Though we need to be supportive of their efforts we cannot rely on their efforts alone.

Radio it seems has gotten away from editorializing. Its time to bring it back TODAY. Radio can put pressure on all of these areas and can make a difference. We have a RESPONSIBILITY to our fellow American citizens to save their lives.

I want to see leadership. Radio needs to take this leadership. Local radio managers need to show local leadership. Radio groups need to exhibit leadership by getting all stations behind this. RADIO may be the only thing that will make a difference in saving lives. Children have died after being rescued because of exposure and lack of food and water. A newborn baby died in the streets yesterday. An. old woman died of a heart attack because there was no one to help, no place to take her, no one to take her to the hospital. When cars were flagged down they would not stop because they feared their car would be hijacked. This is out of control. Radio needs to take leadership. Mobilize your listeners, mobilize action in the community to create homes, jobs, and assistance and mobilize people locally to be willing to risk their own lives to save other lives. FEMA has backed out. New Orleans police are worrying about looting instead of lives.
I beg my brothers in broadcasting to not ignore this plea. One person in control of a radio station can make a giant difference today to save lives and offer these people a chance of survival. We would not want to be in refugee camps, we ourselves would be ready to loot for water or food if without for three days. These people are dying on the streets of New Orleans as we speak. RADIO MUST MOBILIZE. Please take ANY action you personally can take and please if you have any way to contact New Orleans radio people get this document in their hands.

Please forward this to every radio and TV broadcaster you know.

Eric RhoadsPublisherRADIO INK

Monday, August 29, 2005

Kepler comes home

Following our anti-climatic hurricane non-event, Chris and I realized we had no plans for the weekend. So what does one do when one has no plans? One goes to an animal shelter to play with the animals and pretend you aren't really planning on getting one but really you are plotting and because you have a nice and non-argumentative husband he doesn't put up a fight when you scoop up a tiny orange and white kitten and say, "Maybe we should take him home because he has no one to love him," whilst shooting the Evil Eye to the group of children who have dragged their mothers over to see said unloved kitten.

Kepler* rode back to our apartment in my lap, peacefully purring and covering me with little tiny cat hairs. We put him back in his carrier to bring him into the apartment to meet Kneazel. The interaction went thus:

Kneazel: Meow (Hi, Mom and Dad!)
Kepler: Meew (Where am I?)
Kneazel: Meow (What's in the box?)
Kepler: Meew (I'm hungry)
Kneazel: Meow (There's something in the box!) Meow (What's in the box?)
Stage directions: Box is opened
Kneazel: Meow (Hello)
Kepler: Meow (I'm going to KICK your butt)
All: hssssssssssss reoooooooooooooooooooow hssssssssssss (I HATE YOU!)
Stage directions: Repeat for several hours

Chris and I left for the movies and came home to find them licking each other. When they spotted us, the hissing started all over again -- perhaps it was a little show for us.

Things have calmed a bit now. Although it doesn't stay calm for long periods at a time. Kepler looks just like Kneazel only much, much smaller, earning him the nickname: "MiniMe." That, plus their feelings for each other mean we keep saying, "No, no, MiniMe, we must not bite our kitty."

Kepler has figured out that Kneazel can't fit under the couch so his new bit is to sit under there and holler -- he's not in pain or scared or stuck, he just seems to know it bothers Kneazel. So he sits under there and howls and every once in a while Kneazel walks over to the couch, swats his paw under and then walks away. Kepler gets bored, runs out, jumps on Kneazel and then goes back under the couch and starts screaming again. True love.

*Chris picked the name this time so Kepler is named for Johannes Kepler (1571-1630), the first man to correctly explain planetary motion.

Friday, August 26, 2005

Bite me Katarina, you useless whore!

Let me say first that I did NOT want to get hit by a hurricane. That being said, it's not fair that I wasn't hit by the hurricane.

I mean, the power goes out all the time in Florida. All I wanted was one and a half days off of work. A freebie, if you will. But nooooooooooooooooooooooo. Stupid Katarina (which by the way, is also the name of a great song by Phil Pritchett). She didn't even knock out the power so I didn't have to go to work. You know what though, I bet the next hurricane knocks out the power -- on a Friday. And then it will last until the following Tuesday because we'll have had a holiday on Monday or something awful. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I have over $100 worth of canned food in the pantry! I have a bathtub full of emergency water! I have batteries -- buy one get one free batteries!

There I was, thinking I was having a ooooooohhh-the-power-of-the-hurricane moment because the cat was acting weird. "Look," I said to myself, "Kneazel is meowing and running back and forth nervously. He senses the coming storm!" After following him, however, I realized he was really trying to say, "The house is flooding, you stupid girl! The house is flooding!" Turns out, Kneazel has never seen the bathtub in the guest bathroom filling up with water. OK, and he considers it his bathroom since that's where his food dish and litter box are kept.

I had dinner ready early, I had the plants dragged inside, I had Scrabble at the ready. We got nothing more than a drizzle. A drizzle. Give me a bending palm tree -- something! Throw me a bone, people!

Florida. Humpf.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Voices

Don't get me wrong. It's not that I don't like what I do for a living -- for pete's sake, I designed this position. But the monotony...the lack of outdoors. The putting up with other human beings that hate their lives so much they want to spread their hatred to the rest of the world...

I got an interview for my friend's son. She wants him out of the house and making more money. He, apparently, wants to keep being a lifeguard until a really cool, creative, star-level media job comes up (good luck with that!). While I tried to talk some sense into him (make money during the day and keep doing radio at night if you really like it) I was encouraging only half-heartedly. I kept thinking back to what motivated me to move out to Alaska. The I-don't-care-about-rent-it-will-work-out-somehow drive. It' s not that it's gone, it's just that I got tired of eating crap and not buying clothes and looking at other people with boring jobs but better social lives because they could afford to dress like girls.

But I'm worried I've filled up that drive with meaningless crap. I have tons of teapots, art on the walls and about two thousand art projects, all in full-swing. I'm trying so hard to build something, but when I look back on it, what will I have when I finish?

Sometimes, when I sit here typing up scripts and reading asinine emails, I have to fight the urge to just get up and walk out -- not for the day, not for a few hours. Just leave the computer on and walk out and never come back. Spend the house down-payment money on a trip to Europe.

But then who would pay rent, prescriptions, Anthropologie bills? How will I keep myself stocked in Benefit and Laura Mericer? What will I do when there are more bills than cash? Will I go back to eating Big Macs and tater tots that Nicole buys for me? Will we have to move to some apartment where the locals shoot at each other and I keep one eye open at night? Will I have to grow unsightly facial hair rather than pay the salon to rip it out on a routine basis? Will we never have a baby because we can't afford it or will we finally be able to afford it and can't get pregnant? What if I'm an awful mother and my daughter thinks I'm some sort of an evil disease?

What the hell? I can't tell if I'm having a mid-life crisis, a bad case of PMS or just a nagging case of my spirit screaming "You are in the WRONG place. Time to MOVE on." It's hard to tell the difference sometimes.